our first night home

The night you were born i got no sleep, and not because of you. You were born at 8:56 and i was in a room before midnight. All i wanted was to see you but they took you away to the nursery then they brought you in to me for about a half hour and had to take you away again. Then an hour later they brought you back but just long enough for me to kiss you goodnight. Then another hour later the doctor came in to tell me you were being admitted to the nicu. I was worried, plus they came in every hour to take my blood pressure. 


They submitted you to the nicu because your blood sugar levels were not stable, then you developed jaundice. It was heartbreaking seeing you hooked up to all of the monitors. And they had to stick your little foot to draw blood every three hours. I really only saw you when it was time to feed. The first day i got to hang out and hold you all day but you were a bit overwhelmed with all the visitors and the nurses suggested we give you a little recovery time. I would come in every three to four hours to feed you and during the night i would skip the 3am feeding so i could get some sleep. I could sleep easy though because i knew you were being monitored constantly. I was not worried. 


Finally though you got to come home Monday night. We took you right from the hospital over to grandma and opa joes house. The dogs were there so we had to pick them up and we wanted you to meet them in a neutral place, we thought it would help. Then we headed home, all five of us. I could not sleep at all that night though. I decided to put you in the pac n play in our room instead of your crib. I laid you in there all swaddled up and five minutes later i saw you on your side and panicked, you have to sleep on your back, they told us that many times at the hospital. I tried to reposition you but it did not work so i ended up calling grandma in the middle of the night and she told me to bolster blankets on either side of you, and that worked. I was still worried though so i kept checking every few minutes. 


Plus you are a stinker and have your days and nights mixed up. You fussed all night and would not sleep. Therefore i did not sleep. It was a bit rough. I was exhausted the next day and I have a hard time taking naps, especially with you around. I feel like i need to be there for you instead of napping. 


The second night went much better though. I slept more confidently that you would not roll over and suffocate or something and you seemed to understand that you were supposed to sleep. I did not get a ton of sleep but it was better. 


It's hard, its only day two but its very hard. I know that I have lots of help and support and that it will only get better though. 

A cute picture of my little turtle! 

xoxo
the mom